I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
