I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
