hell yes lets make some ravioli
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
