You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
