Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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