the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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