her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize