Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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