omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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