Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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