I love watching others lives come down to our level.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
