he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
