so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
