What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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