Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
