I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
