Christians are straight up FREAKS
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
