I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm both gender and math confused
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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