u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
