i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Best friends brother. Beat that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
