As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize