So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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