? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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