I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
