Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize