Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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