I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
