do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
