guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
