I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
