I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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