We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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