i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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