when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize