My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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