oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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