At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
