420 ftw
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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