That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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