someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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