My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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