oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
