Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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