All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm lost and stupid without you.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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