Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
