the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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