I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize