remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
