I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just pee around me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
