That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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