if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
