They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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