Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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