Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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