summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
