margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
