how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
