So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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