He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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