he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
