Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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